Posted on by She Who Rises

Back to the Basics Pt. II

🎶Social media’s affecting my obedience 🎶


The lyrics of Franchesca’s song, Time Away, couldn’t be more true. For her, it was Tiktok. For me, it’s been Instagram, Facebook, and even Reddit. At the end of a long day, it’s the first few minutes after dinner where a quick jaunt across the internet seems harmless. But too soon, the sentimental feeling that follows a clip of The Cosby Show has me chasing a high. Before I know it, I’m up scrolling three hours past my bedtime.

It didn’t seem like that much time had passed. Yet, here I am. And now, with less time for rest between now and tomorrow’s workday, I realize my mistake. I played myself, and tomorrow, I’m going to suffer.

When I wake up the next morning, I find it all to be true. Groggy and slow, it takes more effort to get up and get going. After hitting the snooze button again and again, I finally pop up half an hour (or more) later. I’m not late, not really. I’m tired and may have to rush a bit, but I’ll still make it to work (mostly) on time. It’s no big deal, right?

Wrong.

Those few hours of scrolling cost me something precious. What,  you ask?
My quiet time in the morning with God.

Instead of waking up and having the time to reach for my Bible for a little quiet contemplation of my God and some journaling, I’m headed straight to the shower. My mind is focused on the ten things I need to do to get ready and out the door. Not the qualities I admire about my savior.

I listen to worship music as I get ready and the word on my Bible app along my commute, just because. I’m not trying to win brownie points. It’s not about whether it “counts.” I’m trying to fortify myself with the word. But still, it isn’t the same.

My quiet time with God clears my head. It centers me like nothing else can. In the past, it has armored and fortified me in ways I couldn’t see until years later. Truthfully, it sets me up for a day of internal peace despite any chaos happening around me. This isn’t hyperbole. It’s direct experience.

Less than ten years ago, I worked in an extremely toxic environment where land mines existed in nearly every interaction. And where I intended to or not, I set them off regularly. When I reflect on my time there, I’m amazed at how I made it through. Despite many, many opportunities to lose my cool, I didn’t take the bait. I wasn’t in therapy or on medications at the time. But I did keep a regular early morning and pre-bedtime date with God and my journal.

Truly, the value of my morning quiet time with God really can’t be overstated. Yet, I’ve neglected it, this quality time that only benefits me, for what… the black hole of social media? For entertainment? If I can even call it that.

All the other stuff plays its part. Worship and listening to the word is necessary and has its place. But, like them, journaling my prayers to Jesus is it’s own thing.

It’s those hours scrolling, wasting time that could’ve been spent in almost a million more productive ways that robbed me of the peace that comes from that quiet time in the early hours of the day. I could’ve been sleeping instead. Then, I could’ve actually woken up with the time and energy to tackle the most important moment of my day.

Even a blind person can see that a break is in order. So, I’m cutting the chord, at least temporarily, and removing another barrier between me and the peace I’ve been seeking. Thankfully, based on God’s track record, I know God will be there to welcome me back. 💜

Posted on by She Who Rises

Back to the Basics

A slow buzzing enters my dreamscape, silky piano notes following close behind.  My hazy dreams pass away as my brain registers the sound and I open my eyes. It’s my alarm. Hitting snooze, I turn over, hoping for a slow five minute reprieve before facing the day.

The next time I open my eyes, it’s without prompting, nearly 30 minutes later. Crap! Already, I’m running late. But instead of running to the shower, I unlock my phone.
I’m not headed to IG, a news or music app. Instead, I open my Bible app.

This old habit is one I’ve struggled to maintain over the last year. Talking to God every morning in my journal, offering praise and gratitude and dissecting the promises in the word would normally take, at least, an hour.  And I’d still have a hard time pulling myself away.

Spending this kind of time with God almost every single day fortified me in a way that I’m only noticing in it’s absence. I have a nagging suspicion that this shift is why I’ve been struggling with doubt and intense anxiety so much more lately. 

Instead of running to my Bible or my knees in worship, I’m usually running to the shower and flying through the rest of my morning routine. No quiet contemplation of ancient promises. No confession of the worries that attacked me the minute I awoke. No songs of praise to welcome the divine presence into my space.

Now don’t get me wrong, I still speak to and honor the Most High. But worried pleas for help sandwiched between the lyrics of worship songs as I make my way to work doesn’t have the same effect. And the difference is staggering. The worries and workplace chaos that rise up over the course of the day shake me in ways I havent experienced in years.

When I think about it, I see that the most dire and difficult times in my life also happen to be when I felt the closest to the Most High. But now, in the midst of all this anxiety and struggle, God feels far away. Knowing what I know about God, through study, but mostly experience, I know it’s not because God is too busy, tied up elsewhere. It’s because I am.

Somehow, right before I started my current job, I let things slip. My daily appointment with God became a less crucial, less regular kind of thing that evolved into whatever rushed, sometimey, inconsistent thing it is now.

I still play worship music.  I still talk to God throughout the day, like God is right beside me, because I believe that God is. I still journal my prayers. I still read the bible… Just, not as frequently or with the same fervor I once had, not with that desperate need to include God in every aspect of my day in a variety of ways.

Nothing has been the same since. Why should it be? I can’t expect God to give me more faith, more peace, more anything, while I offer less and less. God is full of grace. So our gracious God may still provide more and more, but that’s not at all fair. And it’s not something I would accept.

Eventually, we all get tired and no one wants to be taken advantage of by anyone, even those they love. While the Bible says that God neither sleeps nor slumbers, so therefore doesn’t get tired, we do know that we get on the Most High’s nerves. THAT fact, is all over the Bible for our education (and sometimes entertainment). But that’s not a dynamic that I want in my relationship with God and I mean that wholeheartedly.

So, I’m recommitting myself, getting back to the basics with my God – making worship, prayer, and reading the Bible a priority again. I don’t expect to be perfect at it – 100% consistent from the jump.

But I do expect that consistency to grow and that comforting sense of closeness to God to return over time. Because I suspect that I’m not the only one who’s noticed a difference in our relationship. I’m almost certain that God’s been patiently waiting for me to notice and make a u-turn this whole time, right from the start. I’m sure that God’s BEEN ready, and now, I am too. 💜